The Rules of Seigaku
by SugarTensai
Summary: Based on Kurarevolution's The Rules of Rikkai story. The sacred rules of Seigaku in which every player is bound by, is listed here.


**A/N:** I just read of Kurarevolution's stories, which are SO GOOD. The Rules of Rikkai Dai Gaku Fuzoku, is such a funny story. Go read it. This is based on T.R.O.R.D.G.F, but a really watered down version of it. -_-

now, about my poll...wanna vote?

* * *

**Never trust Fuji with anything sharp and pointy**

"What are you doing, Fuji?"

"Oh, hello, Eiji, Oishi. I'm doing a project."

"On what?"

"Weapons."

"Are those shurikan?"

"Correct."

"You _actually_ brought real weapons to school? Isn't that illegal?"

"Well, it's only for demonstration. Would you like to see?"

"Sure?"

"Watch."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"That sounded like screaming children..."

"Precisely, Oishi. I just threw a boomerang over the building, into the playground. It should be coming back by now."

"Is that is?"

"You have good eyes, Eiji. Yes."

"...Is that blood on it?"

"Probably. Now watch this throwing knife."

_Crash._

"...Was it supposed to go through the window?"

"No. My hand slipped. Oops."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"That sounds bad..."

"No, it's fine. You worry too much, Oishi."

"You don't seem to be good at using these..."

"Oh, Eiji. You're taking after Oishi. It's really okay."

"I should go now..."

"Just one last demonstration?"

"Okay. Last one, though...what is that?"

"Bow and arrow."

"..."

"..I see something falling out of the sky..."

"Is that a _bird_?!"

"It's a lark."

"Did you mean to hit it?"

"Who knows? Now look at this club."

"um..."

"Don't be shy, it-oops-...I didn't mean to knock them out..."

**Never trust Inui with the cooking**

"Inui.."

"Yes, Momoshiro?"

"What is this?!"

"Your food."

"It _is_?!"

"Yes. Now eat."

"I have a question."

"Yes?"

"Is it supposed to be glowing?"

"Don't mind the appearance, try it."

"um.."

"How is it?"

"My hands are turning purple..."

"Yes, go on."

" There's this strange throbbing in my left nostril.."

"I see."

"Why am I the only one eating this, anyway?"

"Well, the others have fainted awhile ago, you see..."

"I feel dizzy..."

"Hey, don't faint now! I haven't collected enough data!"

**Never play against Ryoma**

"Hey, kid. Get off the courts."

".."

"Don't glare at me like that, you little-"

"I'll play you for the court."

"You? A shrimp like you?

"Mada mada dane."

"You really asked for it now. I'll make you pay."

"Sure thing."

"But I'm such a nice guy, I'll let you serve first."

"Alright. Don't regret it."

"WHA-WHAT?! A TWIST SERVE?!"

"There's more where that came from."

"I'll beat you anyways, shrimp!"

FIVE MINUTES LATER.

"These...moves...aren't possible!"

"Hmm?"

"No one can jump twenty feet straight up!"

"..."

"No one glows while playing tennis!"

"..."

"No one can do anything you just did!"

"Well, I did. Suck on it."

"...What's up with that smoke floating around you?!"

**Never take Kaidou to the zoo**

"Come on, Kaidou. We're leaving the reptile section."

"Just a second, Oishi."

"Why?"

"The snake says he wants me to stay a bit longer."

"What?"

"Yeah. Hold on, I'm talking to it."

"...And you just said...?"

"That I have to go."

"Okay, come on."

"Oh, wait, the snake said he's coming with us."

"No! Don't let it come with us!"

"Why not?"

"Well, it's common sense...Why the snake just break out of it's cage?"

"It's coming with us."

"No, Kaidou, it's _venomous_."

"I know that. Come on, snakey."

"Um...Kaidou?"

"Yes?"

Why are all the snakes breaking out of their cages?"

"They all want to come."

"No! No! This is bad. They can't come!"

"Geez, Oishi, don't hurt their feelings. Of course they can!"

"They're surrounding me. Why are they surrounding me?...Kaidou...AHHHH!"

"...Oishi? Why are you lying on the ground? We have to go."

"ugh..."

**Never try to make conversation with Tezuka**

"Hey, Tezuka,"

"Momoshiro."

"Nice day, isn't it?"

"..."

"That cloud looks like a burger."

"..."

"We have a math test tomorrow."

"..."

"You're not going to say anything, are you?"

"..."

"Goodbye."

"..."

**Never leave a tennis racket around Taka** (better yet, never leave a Fuji Shusuke around Taka)

"Hello, Taka."

"Um, hey, Fuji."

"Here's you tennis racket."

Tha-BURNNNNIINNNGGG!"

Good, Taka. Now go smash some children."

"BURNING!"

"AAAHHHHHHH!"

Good, Taka, very good-...oh, hello, Tezuka."

"We've had this talk before, Fuji."

"Fine..."

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**A/N: **So, so. Haven't been updating RikkaiDai therapy. I've got a huge writer's block in that story ever since I came back from hiatus. I'll TRY to update though...how about a review?


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